no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
