Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
