arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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