Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
