eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
