anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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