i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
