i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
