A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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