see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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