Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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