she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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