I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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