i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
