Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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