Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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