What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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