Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
