He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
