Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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