My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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