I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
