Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
