My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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