I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
