when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
