It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
