I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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