the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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