Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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