East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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