I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
