Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
