He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
