i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
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Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Semen is not good for contacts.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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