i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sext me about skeletons
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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