Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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