We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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