oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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