She even gives head with a lisp.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
