He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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