just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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