I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
