I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
