you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
