we made out on top of his cat.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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