Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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