i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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