Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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