it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
