hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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