Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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