they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
