before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
