I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
